I could have mohawked her pubes.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
