WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It was confusing and full of hummus
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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