I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
