Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize