I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize