I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize