She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
