seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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