Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
