Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
