God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize