I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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