Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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