i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
