Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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