he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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