even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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