Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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