Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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