So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
