Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
