I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I supernannyed him into submission
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
