i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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