hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
