Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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