I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
