but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
