You can't special order awesome
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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