i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
