You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
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