i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
