i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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