with your own penis?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
