More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
