he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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