Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
