ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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