Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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