I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
two words...techno handjob
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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