problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
