it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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