Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
