I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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