So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
