mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
