he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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