Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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