he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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