I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
