after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
