Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
