If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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