So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
