I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
