i just google imaged poop.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
