Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
