i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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