Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
